as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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