UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
