Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We need to get me chipped asap
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
