Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
