she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
