Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
