i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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