Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That accounts for only three of the penises
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
