Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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