Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
