I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
