Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
