It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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