Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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