I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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