Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
