I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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