You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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