So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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