That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There's always time for handjobs
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
