Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
COCAINE IS GR8
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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