The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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