i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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