come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got inside last night via doggy door
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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