yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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