so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize