God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
