Cold hands, warm shart.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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