The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize