i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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