he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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