She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
