No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
not ubering you a puppy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
