apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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