Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just blew my weed a kiss
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
