It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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