**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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