Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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