I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
