Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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