like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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