apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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