He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
