I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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