Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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