She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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