I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
