that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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