Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and she was petting her beer can
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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