I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
porn star boner night. come get it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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