Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
