if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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