3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
God, I missed his penis.
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