woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
