i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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