You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
