Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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