What did we do last night that was yellow?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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