There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
