why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
